Probably Wouldn't Be This Way
by CaRWash Forever
Summary: Ryan has died and Calleigh is left alone CaRWash  Warning:Character Death Baised on the song :Probably Wouldn't Be This Way by Leann Rimes


Calleigh was driving home from work, with tears falling down her face. Today was her first day back since the "accident" and she couldn't take it. Horatio had let her leave early because he saw the condition she was in.

She was now pulling into the driveway. It was raining so she quickly grabbed her things, slammed the car door and ran to the front door. She found her key and unlocked it. As she stepped in, it felt so empty and she suddenly felt lonely again. Even though she had been there alone for a month it still felt different every time she walked into it.

She set her stuff down and suddenly sank to her knees crying her eyes out.

"Where are you? Why aren't you here? I need you." She cried into her hands. She needed to get out of there. To go to the one place she felt okay.

She arrived at the cemetery in 7 minuets. It was still raining but she didn't care anymore. She just needed to see him.

She walked through the feild of tombstones until she stopped at his. She crouched down so she was at eye level with the painful letters of his name: Ryan Wolfe.

"Hey, babe." Her voice was sad and broken "I went back to work today. It didn't go so well. I thought i was ready, but i just can't stand not seeing you there." She paused for a while." So, umm... i have a date with Eric a week from Friday. I hope your not mad. He said you'd probably want me to move on with my life. But, i just can't." She began to cry again. She covered her mouth with her hand. "I miss you so much. I need you here with me. I never pictured every minuet without you in it, oh you left so fast. Too fast. You know, sometimes i see you standing in front of me. I know that sounds so crazy, but, it's true. And, sometimes i feel an angels touch. It's so hard not to see your face in the morning. Last night i had a crazy dream. A wish was granted just for me, it could be for anything. And i simply wish for one more day with you. One more day, one more time, just, one more sunset. But, i know what that would do, just leave me wishing still for one more day with you. But, still, I'd unplug the telephone, keep the T.V. off. I'd hold you every second, say a million "i love you's". She was crying _again._"That'd be one more day, with you. Oh, god. Im going crazy, Ry. Not a day goes by that i don't think of you. That i don't think of that _day_." She closed her eyes and let her mind remember the morning of Ryan's death.

_Calleigh walked out of there room and saw Ryan starring out of the window. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist._

_"Babe, we're gonna be late for work."_

_"Cal." He said in the most serious tone she's ever heard. "Something bad is gonna happen today. I know it, i can feel it. It's not gonna be good at all." _

_She just smiled and said: "Oh, your paranoid. Just forget about it." Kissed him and walked away. "Hurry up and get in the car!" She said as she walked away._

_"I need to shave!"_

_"Sorry, we don't have time. Let's go!" Ryan sighed and followed him girlfriend._

Calleigh's thoughts moved faster now.

_In the car, driving to work, red flash, hard impact and then, silence._

Her eyes flew open with fear and tears in them. She looked back to the stone.

"Oh, god, Ry. If i would have just let you take 5 minuets to shave, you would still be here. This is all my fault, everything is all my fault." She was bawling her eyes out now. "I know your saying it's not, but it is, Ryan! And now i can't change it!"

Once she finally got her composure back she started to talk again.

"Ya know, my mom says i just shouldn't speak to you. Alexx also says that i should just move on.You outta see the way these people look at me when they see me out here talking to this stone. Everybody thinks I've lost my mind, but i just take it day by day." A long pause. "Will you wait for me?" She said in a bare whisper. "I'll see you soon. I promise." She put her hand to her lips and then to the stone. She stood up trying to compose herself and took one last look at the grave site. "I love you." And walked away.

It was already six o'clock when she got home, but she didn't feel like eating. She just made her way to his closet. She opened it and saw all his suits, T-shirts and pants, etc... She reached into it a pulled out a blue dress shirt. She put it up to her nose and took in his scent as tears, once again, came to her eyes. She put the shirt on herself and buttoned it up. She decided to take a bath. She made her way over to the tub and turned the nob to fill it. As she was waiting for it to fill, she looked at herself in the mirror. All she saw was him and the happiness she once had. And then she realized the tub was full. She didn't even undress. She just got in with his shirt and everything else on. She didn't wash herself, she just lay there trying to picture his face. It wasn't working so she she put her head under the water and just stayed like that for a few seconds. O f course she thought about not going back up, but knew Ryan would be very disappointed in her, so, she came back up and gasped for air. She lay there for about 5 more minuets and then got out. She dried off and grabbed the book on her nightstand. Her scrapbook. As she looked through the pictures she remembered every happy time they had. She even smiled a few times. She finished with the whole book and put it back on the nightstand, so she would know where it is tomorrow. She felt a little tired so she pulled the blanket of the bed and lay down on the floor, knowing she wouldn't sleep at all. Before she tried to fall asleep she opened her eyes one more time to look into her closet and see her beautiful wedding dress she was _supposed_ to be wearing, in 4 days.


End file.
